Learn the rules to break them.

It's been far too long since I updated my blog but I have a good reason. I've been doing a lot of research on a variety of areas.

I was getting quite frustrated and angry at myself because my art was lacking. That resulted in a lot of emotional breakdowns because of how passionate I am and where I want my art career to be. 

What I found out was I'm frustrated because I lack understanding. 

I read up on Da Vinci and have been studying him and other masters for some time now. They spent years studying and learning everything about their craft...I'm only at the one and a 1/2 mark. I've got quite a ways to go.

Another thing I realized is I tend to break a lot of rules with my art...but how can I break the rules if I don't know the rules? 

I can't. 

So, I'm learning the rules. I started with values. 

This was my first attempt.

This was my second. Obviously there have been improvements but I still have quite a ways to go. 

Right now I'm working on perspective. 

I've started following Brandon Dayton as well as spending time working through tutorials on PencilKings.com

The basics are important even though I don't plan on being a rule follower with my own art. I need to spend the time learning, studying, and absorbing as much information as I can. 

I'm going to be posting my practice and my studies so be prepared. 

Some of them are going to suck. I'm okay with that. 

The important thing is to learn, not be afraid to fail, and keep trying. As long as I don't quit...I can't lose. 

I must be crazy.

I honestly must be crazy. 

I must be crazy to be this devoted to trying to figure out what my artistic purpose is. 

I get so frustrated with myself because it almost feels like I'm losing focus sometimes but in reality I'm trying to find my voice and figure out the best way to say what I want to say with my art. I'm tough on myself because I know that's what it's going to take. 

I read and study all kinds of work each and every day. 

I want to absorb as much of a variety of art that I can to help build my visual language. 

I've been doing this for over a year now and looking back I've definitely progressed beyond where I was but I have so much further to go. 

I look at my work now and I'm disappointed. I want it to be more. I want it to have feeling and life but it doesn't. So what do I do? I start over. 

Who does that? 

Who spends hours working on something and then when it's finished realizes it doesn't look the way it's supposed to so they start over? 

I do. 

I must be crazy. 

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault you're an artist.

It's not your fault you went to college in hopes of doing something amazing for the world. It's not your fault they told you that you could be anything when you grew up so you decided you wanted to draw, paint, or color.

I know it's not my fault. It's nobody's fault.

It's not a fault.

Being a fault would mean something is wrong with being an artist.

I want to draw.
I want to paint.
I want to color.

I want to create unique pieces that make people smile and maybe, just maybe for that one brief moment their life is free of all stress and worry.

It's not your fault.
It's not my fault.

It's my choice.

That's it...I QUIT!!

I have spent every single waking moment since graduation trying to figure out what in the h#ll it is I'm doing. 

What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do? What is the goal of my art?

I have done the children's book thing. Didn't work. 

I've done the graphic design thing. Didn't work. 

These things didn't work because my heart wasn't in it...because it's not what I love doing. 

What I love doing is coming up with unique and different ideas that tell a funny story. I love creating humorous illustrations that make people smile. That's what I love. I like having a little bit of an edge to my work because it's enjoyable. 

So why in the world am I wasting my time trying to force my art in a direction that everyone else says I am good at? Why? 

I honestly don't know. 

I just know I'm not happy unless I'm creating my own unique drawings.

I don't want to be the traditional artist that everyone says I should be. There is no love, no passion, no ME in the work I do for these different avenues and it shows. 

I tried the different areas and I failed at them. Okay fail might be a bit of a strong word but you get my point, right? 

A great mentor and friend Chris Hart helped me see the error of my ways even if he doesn't know it. I asked him a couple of questions about art and what I got in return was a wealth of information. I have a few of his books and highly recommend you checking him out. He is simply an amazing person as well as an incredible cartoonist. 

I have a background in web design, graphic design, and animation. I intend on incorporating the animation part in my work eventually but first I need to get my foundation down. That foundation is illustration. 

I'm an illustrator. I have to keep reminding myself of that because so many things about the graphic design world intrigues me. It's like something shiny catches my eye and I lose focus of my illustration passion. 

I must stay focused!!

I have taken time off to get my family moved, to figure out what in the world it is I'm doing, and to figure out just how serious I am about my art. 

It's not about the money. Okay, that's a lie. 

It's always about the money but I love drawing and creating so much money is the last thing I think about. I have my day job which is nothing art related at all and that pays the bills but my art...my art is my passion. It's what helps me get through my mundane office job on a weekly basis. 

The point of this post is this...I'm tired of going in different directions. 

William Beachy of GoMediaZine.com told me to pick what I want to do and Focus!Focus!Focus! 

That's my plan. 

I want you all to know that I am a humorous illustrator. I love jokes. I love laughing. I love making people laugh. It's what I do. 

Laugh at me or with me...as long as you laugh I've done my job. 

From here on out, I will be 100% illustration (eventually animation will be thrown in but we'll get to that later) and nothing...and I mean NOTHING will keep me from it. 

It's what I love, it's what I want. 

I'm quitting everything else. 

I'm done. 

Pinch me!

So this time last year I was on the path to being a children's book illustrator.

I found out that's not the direction I should be going in right now. It might happen later but for the time being, I'm working on editorial type illustrations and just having fun with all of it.

I draw or create art every day but the amount of pressure has been lifted.

I went into the children's book world because every one told me that my work looked like it would be a good fit.

Well great.

However, that didn't necessarily mean I would be a good fit for the children's book world.

I create from the heart as all artists do but the work that I was doing was empty. It didn't have my passion or my love in it which meant the drawings came out lifeless and dull.

Lifeless and dull is not me.

I tried it. I didn't like it. It's okay.

After that I took a long look at how far my art skill had progressed since before graduation and after.

I've come a long way.

I'm an illustrator. I'm a designer. I'm an artist. All of this is true.

The question I always find myself asking is where do I belong? Do I belong anywhere? I stopped putting pressure on myself to create and just started having fun with it again.

What happened was amazing.

Me being the fearless person I am, I took a risk. I started looking for work that I could do to fuel my artistic hunger. I didn't know where this would take me and I didn't know what exactly I was looking for but I knew it was out there.

What I found was freedom.

I am now a graphic designer for a real estate company where I get to create marketing postcards. They wanted someone artistic, creative, and someone that thinks outside the box.

That's perfect!!

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to be able to have the artistic freedom to create ideas from scratch. I get to put my unique creative talents to work and they get fresh new ideas that no one has ever seen!!

Pinch me!

Cartoons on the shelf.

Sometimes all it takes is a little guts and a whole lot of throwing caution to the wind.

Stepping out of my comfort zone isn't something I'm fond of but if growth is to happen, that comfort zone needs to get busted all to pieces.

Looking at my illustrations I noticed something was missing. There was no heart, no soul, no passion.

My characters tell the story but they don't make you feel the story. What good is an awesome and unique cartoon character if they don't make the story come to life?

Well, that just won't do.

So I think I'm going to step away from the cartoon style work for a little bit and take a more realistic approach.

This eye is the first realistic drawing I've done in what seems like forever. I love it.

Oh this is going to be fun!

Just having fun!

My latest sketches were so much fun. I'm trying to come up with some solid pieces to put into my portfolio.

I plan on coloring these pieces. 

I like them. 

The first one is based off of my teenage son and his mood swings. 

Oh what fun they are!

 The second one is an idea I came up with in the midst of a cold. 

It's snack time and all the snacks are gone. 

Where did they go?